Hello Again
by Mononoke-hime x sukai kurora
Summary: Although Petra knew that her love for Levi was unrequited, but that did not stop her from waiting for him when she died.


_Hello Again_

"Hello?"

Petra could only hear silence as she waited in the interminable darkness. Her soft amber eyes tried to peer into the darkness, but no amount of time could relinquish the dark pool of black that she was in now. Petra moved ahead, against her mind that was shouting to stay put. For once she ignored her instinct. It had been drilled into her to take hold of her instinct and use it at will. At times, when she was a new recruit and fresh in the Survey Corps, Petra resisted the urge to flee and cry from the sight of the Titans as they devoured her comrades. Although, that did not stop her from wetting herself. Despite of the knowledge that she was dead, Petra's cheeks burned at the memory of Erd telling young Eren that what had occurred during her first expedition.

Although she had been shocked and dismayed at the fellow Survey Corps member for sharing one of her deepest secrets, that moment had been the day when she had met _Heichō_. He had found the teenaged girl that she had been crying at the sight of her darkened pants, far away from the other new members who were celebrating their survival. She had long hair then, and the amber-colored hair shielded the tears that streaked down her face. Petra visibly jumped and almost audibly gasped when she felt a rough hand on her shoulder. She peered above, hesitantly meeting the dead dark gray eyes that stared back into her own.

 _Heichō…_ He had simply told her to clean up the piss off her uniform before they would go out again on the second part of the expedition. Petra had numbly nodded, unable to speak as she witnessed the back of the second-in-command of the Survey Corps. _"Cut your hair, too. It might save your shitty life."_ The coarse words he had told her then had not caused her to lose the fire in her heart that had caused her to join the Survey Corps. It had caused it to resurface, to burn even more brightly in the darkest despair. She was certain that if he hadn't told her those words, she would have been among the hundreds of former trainees that had died that day.

Instead she had assisted in killing two Titans.

Petra had been content to observe _Heichō_ from afar, aware of the freedom and hope he inspired. She had heard from veteran members of the Survey Corps that without Levi, the hope of humanity winning against the Titans was nonexistent. Petra had known since she was a cadet that the Survey Corps and the expeditions were falling out of favor from the public. _Too much death,_ she thought sadly at the memory of seeing her comrades eaten and bloodied limbs falling onto the ground, only to be crushed. Many times she had awoken to a nightmare without any memory of what it was, only knowing the breathless and nameless fear that surged through her every night that it had occurred.

There were times when she couldn't sleep. Petra hadn't been able to sleep on the night of her first expedition, seeing only death and blood. Although her body was exhausted and screamed from the agony from her limbs, the teen was determined to think of anything but dreams. Curiosity had overcome her when she found an ancient stairway leading to a gap in the castle. Soon enough the amber-haired girl found her eyes staring blindly at the sky, the stars and dark blue numbing her of nothing else. For a brief moment, the stars caused her to be mindless, floating into the present until she saw another figure.

 _Heichō?_ The second-in-command of the Survey Corps looked almost bear without the familiar Wings of Freedom on his back. The familiar 3-D Maneuver Gear was vacant, and the whiteness of his shirt looked almost similar to the brilliant moon. Petra continued to stare, and almost breathed out loud when she witnessed familiar silver tears trailing down her face. _Heichō…?_ A part of Petra wanted to comfort him even though she knew that such a distant person like him would likely push her away. She heard a sharp intake of breath from him, and waited with bated breath as he haltingly spoke.

"I…have so many regrets, Isabel. Farlan. I…even though he told me that I should not regret any choice I would make, I still regret my choice." The heavy bitterness and sadness reached Petra, and she was about to call out to him when he suddenly stood and turned toward her direction.

She remembered that she had been completely still when he continued to peer in her direction. She remembered too of how she had quietly slipped down the stairs when his back was turned to her. Petra had taken a glimpse of his face then, and she saw youthful skin that would one day thin and dark gray eyes that would eventually lose the small amount of light that it had. Even so, she thought that Levi- _heichō_ was a beautiful human being. Petra hadn't been certain of what she felt during the years she had strived to serve under Levi- _heichō_. Was it admiration? Was it the knowledge that if he died, the human race would be forsaken? Was it love? Petra didn't know.

As the blood of the Titans grew thick under nails and as the faces of her comrades became lost, Petra only understood that she would do anything for humanity. And that she would do anything for Levi- _heichō_. It was only when she had been inducted into his Special Operations Squad that Petra realized that she had loved Levi- _heichō_. Not as a member of the Survey Corps, as a superior, or as a captain. She took pleasure in seeing him every day and knowing his moods, watching him in silence as he sipped his tea. She always brought him tea in the morning. Although she had yet to see him smile, Petra was certain that it was beautiful. During the lone month they had together, she did not hear him mention those names again that she had heard five years ago. He did not confront her about it, but there was an understanding between them that no one shared with the dear captain. In her mind, Petra knew for certain that Levi- _heichō_ had no feelings for her, she could not help but wonder what his lips might feel like against hers. What would it be like to feel his dark hair through her fingers? How would it feel like to hear his voice in the shell of her ear as he caressed the most intimate places of her body?

Petra knew and she wondered, but it didn't matter to her. To feel love for the one man that guided her to be who she was today was enough. Her only regret…

Her only regret was that she would not be able to serve him as long as she wanted to. As she felt her spine crack and the blood gush out of her broken body, her only thought was, _I'm sorry._ They had completed their task. They had protected Eren. But…the dedication the Special Operations Squad had shared had not saved them from death. Petra had regretted that she hadn't been able to protect and serve Levi- _heichō_. She had wanted to stay by his side no matter what happened, but death had separated the bond they had shared. As Petra walked in the darkness, the woman thought about loving a man who did not likely love her.

 _It is romantic, but I love him anyway. It does not matter if he loved as a comrade or as a lover. All I know…is my love for him is enough._ Suddenly, a bright light echoed against the dark pool of nothingness, and Petra saw again the beloved faces of her comrades. The Special Operations Squad. Her mouth trembled at the sight of her mother, young as she had been when she had died, gesturing her to move on. She saw a young woman with dark red hair and green eyes just like Eren's waving to her, and a much taller young man sighing in annoyance but giving her a small knowing smile. At the corner of her eye, Petra thought she saw a young woman with dark hair waiting in the center of the bright light, her dark gray eyes smiling happily at the sight of Petra. The light eased into Petra's heart, and she almost joined them.

"No," she said softly. "I will join you at another time." Tears caressed her face, easing into her mouth as she spoke. "I want to make sure that it is not dark and lonely when he comes to join us."

And so the light faded and Petra was again enveloped in darkness. Somehow the darkness didn't frighten her, or cause great loneliness to overcome the former Survey Corps member. _I will wait for you and love you always. I do not care how long it takes as long as I see you again._

 _And when you come back…_

 _I will say "Hello again, Levi."_


End file.
